A big question. I suppose that right now I'm in that stage of why bother? Why don't I just get on with my life and not bother about writing?

Easier said than done. I have stories in my head and I'm frantically trying to get them down before I forget, but then again, perhaps they are forgettable. Take Expectations, for instance. I know where the story is going. I have the beginning down already - and have the end in my head. What I'm struggling with is the middle. And I don't want it to sag. I know most of the plot points, the turning points, the black moment, etc., but for some reason I'm having trouble pulling the middle together enough to get to the end. *Sigh*

On a lighter note, I'm headed out to meet up with some writer friends this weekend. We are having a mini-retreat at one of the ladies' homes. There will only be seven of us and I'm looking forward to just goofing off and having some fun - something I don't do enough of at home. This person also lives near the cemetery where my Mom and Grandfather are buried, so I will take a little time off for somber reflection and take flowers for each.

I suspect I'm feeling a little maudlin this year because I am now the same age my mother was when she died. Some days I feel like mortality is hanging over my head and other days, I pull out my memories and smile. It has been 23 years and I still miss her.

On another solemn note, my daughter and I spent this past weekend cleaning out her bedroom. It will now become a guest room as she moves to another state where her boyfriend/fiancee has a job. It will be very strange knowing that she's off beginning a life of her own. I only hope we have provided her with the courage to follow her dreams. At the very least, we provided her with a good education and were able to send her off with no student loans. I have no real concerns, and she knows she still has a home to come back to if life takes a bad turn.

Her brother will miss her. They have been best buds forever, but I know they will stay in contact. When she went away to grad school, they spent hours on the phone either talking or texting. I only hope we can get him through school as well as we did her.

So, I'm still waiting, writing a little, and reflecting on life. Maybe it's just Lent.

Labels: Musings, This 'n that, Why?